Understanding

I know that I made my mistakes. I know that I’m going to pay for what I’ve done. But I hope that I will be forgiven provided the circumstances. It’s not in my hands anymore. I’ve made my choices, made my peace with those choices. Now it is in God's hands.

Feelings

Answers

I told her it was in Gods hands. It tore me up inside, because of what we’d done, because of the differences in how we lived our lives, it was doubtful if we’d be together. My eyes were tearing up, and there was a pain in my chest. Things were going fuzzy again and someone was calling 911.

Feelings

Questions

I woke up a few moments later, and she was by my side. She asked me if we would spend eternity together. I didn't know what to say. At heart, we were both good people… So I told her what she wanted to hear.

Feelings

Falling

I stood before them, showing them everything I am, everything I was, and everything that I would be. I felt my arm cramp up, and everything went red. The last thing I remember was being on the ground, and my daughter finally accepted me, and granted me the kiss that I had wished for.

Feelings

Confession

She stood by me in the town hall, before everyone. It was then that I confessed my secret to the community. I told them that I was also guilty, had the same stain on my soul that she had been displaying for the last 7 years. I was only able to do it because she was with me.

Feelings

Wrath

As I tried to go to the town hall, Christopher approached me. He begged me to stop before it was to late. But why should I listen to him? All he’s done for the better half of the decade was torment me over my shortcomings as a man. I told him to suck an egg.

Feelings

Lust

As people dispersed, I caught sight of her. Standing with her daughter, MY daughter, and I couldn't help but stare. She was so beautiful that I couldn't speak! I don't know if she saw me. But enough was enough. I turned away, and texted her, telling her to meet me at the town hall.

Feelings

Pride

I remember looking around, and seeing people talk among themselves. They were pleased! I was ecstatic to find that they were happy. I heard whispers, all of them bearing good news, all of them happy. So rarely do I see people genuinely happy in my town. I was glad that I could make them laugh.

The beginning of the End

I had finished my duties, standing before the people who looked to me for assistance. The people I lied to for all these years. And I felt happy. I was happy, knowing that I will finally be free of my burden. As I harped about how great and mighty our town is, I tried to explain my actions, by telling them what they wanted to hear. I don't think they got what I wanted them to understand, but I could tell that they found meaning in my words.

Purpose of this Blog

I created this blog to share with you, the reader, things I cannot admit to myself. I hope by doing this, I can be more at ease with my current situation, and perhaps forgive myself for the wrongs i have committed.